Boris Johnson’s Pointlessly Elongated Crowning: The Dark Clown Rises

The day that Boris Johnson was announced as Prime Minister had all the ingredients of apocalyptic foreboding that any political commentator could ever ask for. A heatwave scorched up and down the country, reaching 32C in London, and promising hotter conditions still later in the week. The almighty heat brought with it swarms of insects, with places like Leeds rife with the likes of flying ants. Finally, to cap off the day of sweat raddled defences against creepy crawlies, when the sun came down, storm clouds swallowed the land, bringing terrible rain showers and great claps of booming thunder. Anyone watching the day with the slightest bit of superstition probably has developed an anxiety disorder just from thinking about the days to come.